Comrades Up in Arms

I recently had the misfortune of having to renew my driver’s license at one of our fine traffic establishments. Now anyone who has had to go through this ordeal will understand that this is not the most ideal way to spend a Saturday morning. Upon entry to the Greenpoint facility the first thing you’ll notice is a substantial lack of design or anything that makes the interior even remotely human. Indeed this is what the V&A Waterfront would look like if South Africa was a communist state, however I suspect that the V&A may not smell quite as much like the blend of 1000 post chicken curry flatulence (I’m open to correction).

The license renewal procedure requires that you have your eyes tested, a simple test whereby one has to identify the position of the marked block on a chart, up, down, left right or centre. The elderly gentleman in front of me in the two hour queue really struggled with this concept, remember theoretically if you are 100% blind you have a 20% of getting the answer correct. After what must have been more than 30 attempts without success a simple logic acid test would dictate that this man is not qualified to operate his toaster let alone a motor vehicle. He passed and is on our roads today.

Post “eye-test” you need to have your finger prints retaken, as it is a little known fact that finger prints change on a 5 yearly basis when your license expires. This comment was lost on the stone faced individual who totally failed to see the humour. Fair enough I guess, if my job was to take the finger prints of frustrated consumers all the live long day I’d also struggle to crack a smile.

The final stop is to cough up the cash for this morning of fun but not a moment sooner than the one and half hour queue will allow you. Once your wallet is about R250 lighter you are told that after one short month your license may or may not be ready for collection, where I’m sure another inordinate queue will be involved. It apparently is physically impossible to mail a 5x8 cm piece of plastic, cannot be done.

My point and yes there is one, is that this type of purchase is a 100% grudge purchase. If our friends at the Traffic Department injected just few simple changes (maybe a plant or two) it would be a much better place, but they won’t. There is no alternative for us, no other premium brand, option or competition to inspire them to do better. This is a prime example of what our lives would be like without brands. So be grateful for our capitalism with all it’s faults because to the Traffic Department but for the grace of God go we all.